Fixing Intonation

Fixing Intonation Doesn’t Fix Self-Worth.

I was 12 years old. It was my weekly violin lesson and I was stuck. I couldn’t figure out the note in front of me. I stared at the page as things went all blurry and fuzzy in my brain.

Can you make sense of these notes? I can’t either.

The revered and cranky teacher stared me down as I stared down the music.

I finally turned to him in what felt like an eternity later. My face was red, my attitude meek. I asked what the note was. He said D.

“As in David".”

Then, moments later, he uttered the shattering words.

“I could have said dumbo.”

I am 36 now, and a professional musician. Why can I still remember that moment?

My training is in music, not psychology, but I think what I needed in that moment was support, not shaming. I needed kind guidance, a chance to breathe, a moment to collect my thoughts. Instead, I was belittled by someone I was trying to impress.

“I’m a dummy” crossed my mind in that moment and in many moments after.

Fixing intonation doesn’t fix self-worth.

Too many people connect their self-worth directly to their music skill, their lesson that week, how their most recent performance went. I think that’s sad and I really hope we can, especially as music teachers, continually come back to what music’s all about: connecting with others and expressing ourselves.

As a teacher, I’m lucky enough to work with students who really do care about what they’re doing. Sometimes, though, that can mean that they’re being really hard on themselves because, in that moment, their correctness is all that matters. I think it’s a really important part of my job to remind them, it’s not all that matters.

We care about ourselves and others not because of our current performance but because, by simply existing, we deserve it.